Thursday, December 21, 2006

'Tis Better to Give Than Receive

A Christmas card arrived today from Dad. As usual, he let the card do the business of being sweet and thoughtful so he could just stick to business:


Send me money. I would like to buying some Drawing pads, Illustration Boards and colored pencils soon Becauase when Football games season get over then I will be Bored. :-) My loving Daughter and Son in law too. Love DADDY

3 comments:

pognyc said...

After the life you have lived, and what didn't kill you really did make you stronger, it must be impossible to imagine the frustration and suffering of growing up unable to communicate with others.

Your grandfather was unbelievably cruel to him (i read the 'yarn' piece) and should have been jailed for his actions, of course we all know that there were no child protection laws in general, but Deaf kids have it especially hard, even today.

The lack of understanding of visual languages by the public in general, and the overbearing audistic attitude of a society that values appearance over ability also adds to the frustration of person's who are Deaf.

I find it a bit disturbing at the lack of respect for American Sign Language,(I am a fluent ASL user) as well as the anger that comes out in some of your posts, as if you are getting vengence by embarrassing your father, or exposing his flaws, however I am not judging, I did not live your life and you have certainly used the life your father gave you to create much success. Perhaps therapy regarding anger and guilt issues would be helpful, as it has been for many others.

I admire you for maintaining this relationship with your father, I hope you have been able to forgive him for being human.

You have turned your life into a success I am wondering if you feel 'paid back' at all for a childhood lost, and also, regarding the last lines of your 'yarn' post, I do not believe that your father was born to be a failure, or that he was 'born with a mean streak' (again the frustration of being cut off from other persons, especially one's own family, and viewd as an idiot, even though you know you're not) but that society has again incarcerated one of its own victims, a throw away person who didn't fit the mold of what it supposedly means to be a "normal"

..anyhow, i enjoy the 'love daddy' posts and exerpts of his letter. I am always fascinated to see the mix and confused, although scarily logical expression of an ASL thought pattern into English.

Kambri said...

"I find it a bit disturbing at the lack of respect for American Sign Language.."

I assume you mean my description of the words "vagina" and "lesbian" as crass. These signs are crude, in my opinion. If signs can be created for the vast majority of words that aren't apparent "charades" surely a sign could have been made "lesbian" that wasn't mimicking cunnilingus on vagina. So, yeah, I think it's pretty crude. Seriously, 12 yr old boys could come up with that shit. If you think that's "disrepectful" of an entire language then maybe you're too invested in a language. Who hasn't criticized how crazy the rules are in the English language? Does that show disrespect?

"... and also, regarding the last lines of your 'yarn' post, I do not believe that your father was born to be a failure, or that he was 'born with a mean streak' "

????? I didn't say he was born with a mean streak...a precocious wild streak is what I said. Like lots of little boys, he liked to pull pranks and tease and push the envelope of the rules which was met with severe and cruel punishment.

Yes, I did say he was destined to fail...as was I. I think statistics will back that up that most kids born in severe poverty with uneducated parents don't typically have good results in levels of education, income, death rates, health care, etc. He's living proof whereas I am an exception.

Kambri said...

"...but that society has again incarcerated one of its own victims, a throw away person who didn't fit the mold of what it supposedly means to be a "normal"."

There are lots of things wrong with our jails and I'm learning more and more with each day that passes with him Inside but did Society do this to him?

It's a long debate...nature vs. nurture and the building blocks of how someone becomes a criminal. When does it start? If my grandfather were kinder, if Dad wasn't Deaf, if he got to go to public school instead of getting sent away...there's lots of "ifs" that will never be answered. It's a fascinating study...too bad we can't go back in time on cases like this and see if X then Y wouldn't have happened.

He was 57 when he decided to decapitate and stab his girlfriend. He was 42 when he tried to strangle my mother. He was grown up enough to know better --and had been a success despite all the obstacles in his way. What was his "tipping point"?