Saturday, June 13, 2009

The Internet Sucks Sometimes

I went to wish someone a happy birthday on Facebook and saw his status that said my grandma is on her death bed.

I didn't know.

I didn't leave a note. What was I going to say? "Yay, happy birthday, my grandma will soon be dead but, hey, you made it another year. Yippee!"

My brother didn't know either. Well...he does now. Life in the digital age is strange new territory. The internet has made keeping in touch easier but the social etiquette of things isn't all laid out nice and neat. But maybe Twittering an actual death is the best, most modern way of spreading the news? It worked for David Carradine.

So, now I have the task of telling my dad that his mother might be dead very soon. She's 92 so it's not like it's not been a long time coming, but he's been asking about her a lot lately. Not because he's worried about her so much. He's more interested in protecting the furniture he made her and other material things. He has nothing and so he broods and worries and frets and boils over and hems and haws get the picture. He's got TIME on his HANDS.

I worry that when she does pass, he will enlist me with another laundry list of To Dos. Ask about this, make sure about that. Well, guess what, Dad? If you weren't in jail, you could do this yourself because I really don't care about *things*. I've shed myself of house and home and junk more times than I can count. I like being portable. I don't want cars or furniture or stuff.


But...he has no advocate. No one is listening to him and that's a big bugga boo for him for so long. To not be heard. So, if he needs help in being heard, I'm the only one here to give that to him.

And I will.

And I'm not sure why.



gnarlydorkette said...

I feel the same way with my father-- only the difference is that he is either at half-way houses, shelters, or treatment centers-- it is hard to keep track of him but he always wanted to make sure that his stuff is okay and that whatever expenses I spent on storing them, he would repay.
I kept telling him to not worry about his stuff-- because I know those stuff are only things he possess to remind that he is a human being, a person with a past, hopefully a happy one, and he can move on with what he has in his possession.

Dianrez said...

Furniture that he made for her?

For some people objects are substitutes for memories or somehow embodies feelings that existed at one time.

Maybe this explains why at some deeper level you are willing to do this for him. You understand this, even if not being tied down by objects is important to you.

All the best to you and your Dad!

Kambri said...

This line in a note from my cousin's wife made me burst into tears, "I'm sorry that when he talks to you he wants so much more from you than just your love. "


Gnarlydorkette's description is so true. Thanks, ladies, for your thoughtful comments.