Top Ten Father's Day Gifts For My Dad:

(1) A Pen-Pal
(2) Subscription to Genre
(3) Male chastity belt
(4) Nail file, pick axe and other assorted small tools
(5) Soap on a Rope Penis
(6) Jailbird Costume
(7) The book Easy Origami
(8) The Delouser's Handbook
(9) Paint by numbers kit
(10) 20 year supply of Vaseline (less time served)