Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Smurfs (and Dad) Wish Us a Happy 5 Year Anniversary

It's been five years since I married Christian at Galapagos Art Space in Brooklyn. The old mayonnaise factory was packed to the rafters with our friends and family. For me, the only one missing was Dad. He was indisposed at the time, or more specifically, four years into his twenty year sentence for attempted murder. Instead of attending the ceremony (not that he had a choice), he drew us a cute card and wrote a sweet speech wishing us well and reminding us to not try adultery, drunkness or dopeheads. (Click here for the original post with video & transcribed speech.)

Happy 5 Yr AnniversaryAs an inmate, my father has also become a prisoner to the calendar. This means Dad never misses an important date. Every August 12th, I can expect a letter or handmade card wishing us well. This year was no different. I guess the new Smurf's movie's PR & marketing has made it all the way to Dad's cellblock in Huntsville because the front pictures three Smurf characters, Smurfette, Brainy and, well, I don't know who that last one is. They are using ASL from left to right to sign the words: Happy -- 5 year -- Anniversary.

Once again, I am sincerely impressed with his artistic skills. In the accompanying letter, he says he'll buy two pints of ice cream from the Commissary to eat in celebration. That's as good an excuse as any considering he also describes his miserable summer in the blistering Texas heat without air conditioning.

In an ironic twist, the card arrived on August 15th, the 23rd anniversary of my father's attack on my mother, a date that I've never been able to stop remembering with or without a calendar. Also in a funny coincidence, when I was a kid my parents used to interrupt my enjoyment of the Smurfs on Saturday mornings by not realizing how loud their lovemaking sounds could be. I responded by cranking up the volume as loud as possible. When my mother finally emerged from their bedroom, she would put in her hearing aids and say, "Kambri! Why do you have the TV turned up so loud?!"

To this day when I hear the theme song for the "Smurfs" the first thing I think of has nothing to do with Gargamel. [Shudder.]

4 comments:

Matt said...

Looks like "Handy".

Kambri Crews said...

HA! That would be perfect, but "Handy" always wore overalls. Maybe "Clumsy"?

StaceyG said...

The last one looks like "Pedophile."

Kambri Crews said...

Yeah, it's a little creepy. Maybe Dad's pal Larry gave him some drawing tips.